So there’s this illusion of suffering both mentally and emotionally that is experienced by every human being who ever was and ever will be. It is felt so deeply to the extent that it is able of both moulding us and breaking us; sometimes even tearing us to pieces for the mere sake of putting us back together differently. And maybe this is why at some point we enjoy suffering; this is why we are masochists. Because how dull would life be without this suffering, this anxiety? Happiness probably would not even be existent.
Albert Einstein said that darkness does not exist, that darkness is simply and only the absence of light. In other words, since man is only able to measure light and not darkness, then darkness is nothing more than the absence of light. This egocentricity of man, this tendency to render phenomena to how man perceives and understands them, this “we are in the center of the universe” frame of mind, is what drives us actually.
We are beings of consciousness who are able to look at ourselves, and at the universe, and imaginatively alter our state of existence in our minds. Yet, we are aware that all of this cognitive power, creativity and energy are all stored in a mortal sack of skin that is set to be set off, and decays into nothingness. By nothingness I refer to our disappearance and detachment from “reality.”
But think about it, how can we see and measure and define light if darkness is not a real thing?
Just as darkness is not the absence of light, but rather an opportunity for light to be existent, our emptiness and anxiety is not the absence of life, but rather an opportunity for life to thrive.
The way I see it, human beings cannot bare the idea of the end, cannot bare the idea of emptiness and “nothingness.” That is why everything is the way we see it today, and that is why we are evolving ultimately; trying to beat the clock, trying to build things and do things to immortalize ourselves, always distracting ourselves and avoiding alone time.
Because being alone means being subjected to our emptiness. That is why we suffer from the fear of missing out, we want to be everywhere at once, and we want to be known by everyone; we just want to be special.
That is why, ultimately, we suffer from the fear of death, because then all that will remain is our emptiness, or nothingness for the sake of the analogy. And even that is not certain!
For millions of years, man has tried and thought of millions of ways to fill that emptiness, to “escape” the idea of death and entropy.
We try religion, we try to fill our emptiness with the idea of immortality after life; we make ourselves believe that there is a greater force, a greater power that is there to hold us and give us eternity after we detach from this temporary reality.
Whether religion is enough for us to escape our emptiness and move on in life, or whether we just can’t believe in something that just isn’t there, we will search for love. We will search for someone to love us back. We will immortalize our existence in our lover’s life. We will become a part of it, sometimes even all of it, we will try our best to be everything for that person, for that person immortalizes us; that person fills our emptiness and ‘ignites light in our obscure darkness.’
But then comes a point where we feel that even that isn’t enough, that we are not everything to that person, that that person is not fully able to fill our emptiness. A point where the relationship can’t withstand the weight of ‘immortality’, that’s where we realize that our lover cannot save us, and suddenly we slip into the void again, diving heavily into anxiety.
We require more.
We require an extension of ourselves, an extension to our life; for one day we will decay into nothing, and what will remain of us after that? How are we going to mark our footprints before we’re transformed back to the stardust and energy we once were?
You know, there’s this beautiful but common thing human beings say, which is “I see myself in him/her.” This is the phase where we fully realize that we are in love; but we don’t acknowledge, not one bit, that we have extended ourselves, ‘not to ruin the majestic moment.’ However, no matter how much love one finds in another, one will always love oneself most.
Ask yourself right now, who is the person who you’ll see yourself in and love the most ?
Your child- an extended version of yourself, and your footprints on Earth for a longer time; your child, is you. Hence the word “reproduction”; a reproduced you! Because your child helps you escape your fate in a different manner; your child is here to hold the burden you’ve carried for so long, that internal fight you’ve been engaged in for your whole life. You have succeeded in delaying death.
Then finally comes the time for you to leave reality, all denuded and ego-free, and you understand ‘the purpose of life’, then you accept it and give it up. This is the time when you choose to let go, when even your ego dissolves into nothingness.
Right after that instant, one servant of nature, out of infinitely many, has gone and let way for some other fresh servants of nature, new prototypes of life.
We are some complex and beautiful creatures who are merely variables in nature, a colorful cocktail of molecules, which by chance came to think. We are human beings. We are conscious of our consciousness. We are totally different individuals, each bearing a life-story and the biggest burden in the universe.
Maybe death is only the absence of life and simply a phase in the conservation of energy or maybe death is like darkness that is necessary to have some light.
In any case, death is there; persistently tormenting our minds; “One day we will decay into nothing, and what will remain of us after that?”