You know that sensation you get when you lie on the surface of the water all loosened up and ready to completely give in? Or that sudden spark that excites your heart the second you meet your “hopefully” future person? Don’t you wish you could feel such emotions more often? Or maybe then it wouldn’t be so special anymore; maybe then being serene and falling in love wouldn’t mean as much.
It isn’t fair though, how melancholy is a must and bliss comes in patches. After we realise that, we begin to search for bliss in all sorts of ways. Sometimes we find a speck of it in certain places or people, and sometimes we hurt ourselves and retreat until we get over it and search again.
We are always running and hunting, even when we’re sitting still and living passively. Far from stability and filled with emptiness. Always waiting on and looking for something or someone; nothing is ever enough. And as we grow with this morbid cycle, we change according to our experiences and inconsistent state of mind. We build up new insecurities and invest in our own heartaches. We revolve around a couple of things and base our happiness upon them while we live in a prodigious world holding billions of people and wonderful sites all revolving around us.
When was the last time you felt that spark in your heart or that inner serenity because of something you did for yourself? We tend to somehow avoid ourselves and give a very minimal time for our passions; we become dependent on outer sources of satisfaction. When we do find satisfaction, we stop running and hunting, we feel sane. Then a time comes when we are hungry again, we let go of what was once our everything and develop a new hunt, only this time we seek bigger prey to hunt. We also tend to crave on things and people we think we can’t possibly possess, but when we get to the realisation that it is possible we lose all interest and pursue our egoistic quest. And while we’re at it, we deal with the heartache of what we let go of making our life a paradox and making us more unstable.
We grow tired and lost and more aware of the emptiness that fills us. We forget what makes us happy simply because at some point it is not enough.
Now’s the time to lie back and loosen our bodies on the surface of the water for a while, on our own, and by ourselves.
Now, we must ignite our very own self-made sparks.